Sheesh

There are three specialists that come to work with the Bub twice a week. They work on his language, gross and fine motor skills, listening/comprehension, etc. Friday, two of them were here and the three of them were playing with a toy garage and cars. The Bub was working so hard trying to get them in and out and trying to close the doors and really babbling up a storm. None of us really knew what he was saying until we heard, "SHEESH!" We just looked at each other and laughed. I wonder where he learned that .... :-)

Family Christmas Musical Number

We had another "family" musical number in church on Sunday. I was on the violin playing "Silent Night," the Bub started screaming about 20 seconds into it while Dad took him out and continued in the hall, and baby was crying about 40 seconds into it until our nice friend came to pick her up out of her car seat. I think by the third verse I was the only one making any sound:-).

Merry Christmas!

Judgmental

I have been thinking of an experience I had about a year ago lately so I think I'll share it with you.

You know the guy at the gym... there is one in every gym. He has the spandex goin' and it is clear that he is very dedicated to being physically fit because he is HUGE and he is very serious about his workout and almost runs from machine to machine and likes to look at and flirt with some of the ladies.... That may be a little exaggerated, but you know the guy. Well, there is one here too.

We joined the gym about a year ago when it started getting cold out and there I would see this guy.

One day, I was on one of the weight machines and he was lifting right next to me. I was thinking, "Ugh! I wish he would go somewhere else! Why does he have to choose the machine RIGHT in front of me?!" etc., etc. So I finished with that machine and I went to another.

As I was at this next machine another guy just looked at me... just looked. Not anything more than a glance. But... I was on such a role at judging that other man that I started in on this one. I noticed that he was in jeans and was wearing what looked like street shoes or maybe boots of some sort. I thought, "What are you doing in jeans and those shoes?! That is not how you dress for the gym."

And then... it hit me.

What if this man doesn't have anything else to wear to the gym? ...What if he doesn't have any other shoes to wear? ...Why should I care what he wears? ...He is just trying to do the exact same thing that I am doing... exercise.

And the other guy... he is just doing the same thing I am doing too... only he is probably more dedicated than I am. ...Maybe he is lonely and that is why he looks. ...Who am I to be judging these men?!?!

I was so ashamed and appalled that I had been so quick to judge. The thoughts came almost effortlessly. Why do we do this?? We just don't know the circumstances of those around us. Even if we think we do, we don't. And even if our judgment is right on, we are certainly not better people for casting that judgment and being "right" about it. Now of course there are times we must judge circumstances or people that we are involved with for safety and other reasons. I am not saying that we need to be super friendly to strangers, because that is sometimes not good either. But... there is a difference between keeping to one's self and being judgmental.

I left the gym that day hoping that those men had not seen the judgment in my eyes. I hope no one ever sees it again. It was never my intention to hurt someone, but... judgment hurts no matter what the intent.

Thank You Sesame Street

I love Sesame Street! Sometimes it is SO funny! Like the episode about keeping lead out of your body and during it Oscar says,"what do you think you are, the 'lead police'" and then The Police (muppets) pop up and start singing... funny!

Anyway, it also sends really good messages sometimes. There is one episode that the Bub loves because of the really cool music called The Get Healthy Now Show. He watchs it all the time and I don't always hear what is said, but the other day I heard the message.

There is one game called The Sometimes/Anytime Food game. They spin a wheel and then have to guess if the food that it lands on is a "sometimes food" or an "anytime food." I don't have to tell you that, for me, their "sometimes food" is an ALL the time food!! (Like cookies for breakfast??) Anyway, it got me thinking.

Then at the end "The Big Tomato" comes out and sings his song. Before the song he gives a little speech and says, "Take care of yourself! Your the only you you've got!" Then he tells everyone to get up and move to get healthy. When I saw it I thought, "You're right Mr. Big Tomato! I'm the only me I've got!!" I almost started crying. Give me a break!!!! But seriously... it is so true!

The reality of it is that the Bub doesn't need help moving... usually we are trying to get him to stop moving! But why? I don't want to discourage something that is good for him (unless it involves throwing things in the middle of church:-)). So the next time he is running around like a mad man, instead of thinking, "I am so tired! I wish he would just settle down!" maybe I should get up and move with him... it will do me some good! And maybe I should enforce our strict sweets policy (the Bub only ever gets sweets once in a blue moon) on myself!! We do it for him because it is good for him... I bet it would be good for me too!!! What a revelation:-)!

Motherhood

This post is dedicated to all you moms who are way too hard on yourselves.


In our church we do what we call visiting teaching. This is where all of the women are assigned a partner and you both are assigned 2 or 3 other women to visit once a month together. This program is wonderful. It is so nice to have someone come visit you, bring a spiritual message, make sure you are doing alright, and help you out when you need it. Like this past spring when my visiting teacher saw we were in need of a car and let us borrow a truck she wasn't using very often. We were so grateful for her help and that she was looking out for us.

Story: This summer I bought a double stroller and we walked everywhere so my husband could take the car to work. Summers here are gorgeous so it was always nice to get a good walk in.

So, in August I think, I was meeting my partner to visit teach. I got the stroller all ready and the kids all ready (which always takes longer than anticipated) and after far too long we were finally on our way to the first appointment.

(I have never been a punctual person, in fact I have always been late EVERYWHERE. Needless to say punctuality is something I have worked on my entire life of almost 29 years).

So, we were late... again. I was walking as fast as I could, and as I was, I was thinking, "Man! Why do I have to be late all the time?! Why can't I just leave when I need to?!?!" etc, etc.

At the time my little girl was about two months old and we were all still getting used to having another little baby around. As I was scolding myself for my tardiness, I had the distinct impression of how proud my Heavenly Father was of me for trying to raise these two little kids. I was reminded once again of what is most important out of all the things required of me.

Sure, visiting teaching is extremely important in our church. It is how the Lord takes care of all his daughters and cares for their individual needs. BUT... first and foremost I am a mother and my responsibility to care for and raise these children who have been entrusted to me is the most important.

Now that is not to say that because I am a busy mom I don't need to go visiting teaching, because I do. But... maybe it is not as perfect as I would like. Maybe I forget to bring the lesson and even to read the lesson I am supposed to share (as I did at our last visit:-)). All I can do is my best that I can do and just keep trying. And with practice it will all get better, as everything does... as even motherhood does.

Nowhere to Hide

Our place is for sale and yesterday the Realtor showed it to a potential buyer. I tried to get it as clean as I could and then we left while they were looking. Later on in the day I thought, "You know, you just can't hide the kind of lifestyle you live. It can be really clean and pleasant, but I can't hide the fact that it is a modest place. You just can't pretend to have something you don't."

Now I am not ashamed of our home or how we live. Having people come into my home just made me feel exposed and made me think. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for us, or envy us for that matter, it just helped me reflect on some things.

Just like I can't hide the house that I live in, we can't hide the people we are either. So why do we try??? What is there to be ashamed of? And why can't we be ok with how we are - just how we are, not "If only I were this dress size" or "If only my hair was longer" or "If only I had cuter clothes" or "If only I were better at this or that, etc. etc... then I would be happy with myself." (I have thought all of these things and much more at one time or another... maybe even at the same time). Why are we so hard on ourselves?

I was in the gym the other day and saw a mirror and thought, "There is just no hiding that I have some extra lbs to loose is there?" And so what!! That is how I am right now. It is almost like it is ok for everyone else to just be the way they are, but for us, however we are is just unacceptable or not quite good enough.

Of course we should be trying to improve ourselves (in every way), but as we try to do the right things, can't we also just LOVE ourselves for who we are?!? Why not think we are just great??? Kids do and look how happy they are!! The Bub thinks he is adorable - that is so healthy! Whenever he sees a mirror he gets the biggest smile on his face and starts dancing around and watching himself and wanting me to watch. And no he is not comparing himself to other kids to think that. He just thinks he is great. What if we all felt that good about ourselves? Wouldn't the world be a better place? Unless of course... we became obsessed with ourselves and spent all day looking in the mirror... then we would be a vain people ripe for destruction.... hmmmm....... Anyway, you get my point:)....

Just some thoughts I had. I think Heavenly Father is sad when we don't take care of ourselves, which includes loving ourselves. So I will stop looking for places to hide and just be me... and love it:-).

I read a very good post by a relative of a good friend of mine that is about a similar topic. I don't actually know her, but her blog is public so I don't think she will mind that I found her blog and that I am sharing it with you.

Hello... MOM!!

Have you ever looked in the mirror and realized how much you look like your mother? Sometimes when I see pictures of myself I think, "That is Mom's smile!" Or when I see pictures of my mom I think, "I stand that way too!" My mother would tell you when I talk it sounds like something my Dad would say, which is sometimes true- even my husband has said that. I have had people tell me my voice sounds like my Mom, especially when I laugh, which I will just have to take their word for it because I can't tell. I can see both my Mom and Dad in me... isn't it amazing?!?! We really are the product of two people... and then a little spice of ourselves:-). But, there is one thing that I know I inherited from my Mom and NOT my Dad, and that is my knack for thinking up the worst possible scenario and worrying about it.

Story: This summer we took a road trip to San Diego. We had a 2 year old and a 5 week old so we made a lot of stops, to say the least. Many times we would just need an emergency diaper change and would pull off at the next exit, which was usually just in the middle of the dessert, nothing in site for miles. So... the middle of the HOT, DRY DESERT.

After one of these stops in the middle of the afternoon I said, "Boy, I'm sure glad I didn't get bitten by a rattle snake just now!!" Ok, that sounds ridiculous I know. But, usually when I say something like this, I HAVE actually thought it as a concern, but I will SAY it out loud just to get a reaction from my husband and maybe make him smile. So that is what I did... "Sure glad I didn't get bitten by a rattle snake just now!!" with a little drama in my expression... ok maybe a lot. He just laughed, shook his head and said, "Are you your mother's daughter or what?!?!"

Until he said that I hadn't thought about it, but it is so true! I am just like my mother in that way. Or maybe it's a girl thing... no... I think it is just a mother/daughter thing:-). BUT... a little paranoia never hurt anyone, right? AND... it is people like us that keep the world a safe place... right Mom?!?!:-) AND... I was just trying to make him laugh... mostly:-).