Judgmental

I have been thinking of an experience I had about a year ago lately so I think I'll share it with you.

You know the guy at the gym... there is one in every gym. He has the spandex goin' and it is clear that he is very dedicated to being physically fit because he is HUGE and he is very serious about his workout and almost runs from machine to machine and likes to look at and flirt with some of the ladies.... That may be a little exaggerated, but you know the guy. Well, there is one here too.

We joined the gym about a year ago when it started getting cold out and there I would see this guy.

One day, I was on one of the weight machines and he was lifting right next to me. I was thinking, "Ugh! I wish he would go somewhere else! Why does he have to choose the machine RIGHT in front of me?!" etc., etc. So I finished with that machine and I went to another.

As I was at this next machine another guy just looked at me... just looked. Not anything more than a glance. But... I was on such a role at judging that other man that I started in on this one. I noticed that he was in jeans and was wearing what looked like street shoes or maybe boots of some sort. I thought, "What are you doing in jeans and those shoes?! That is not how you dress for the gym."

And then... it hit me.

What if this man doesn't have anything else to wear to the gym? ...What if he doesn't have any other shoes to wear? ...Why should I care what he wears? ...He is just trying to do the exact same thing that I am doing... exercise.

And the other guy... he is just doing the same thing I am doing too... only he is probably more dedicated than I am. ...Maybe he is lonely and that is why he looks. ...Who am I to be judging these men?!?!

I was so ashamed and appalled that I had been so quick to judge. The thoughts came almost effortlessly. Why do we do this?? We just don't know the circumstances of those around us. Even if we think we do, we don't. And even if our judgment is right on, we are certainly not better people for casting that judgment and being "right" about it. Now of course there are times we must judge circumstances or people that we are involved with for safety and other reasons. I am not saying that we need to be super friendly to strangers, because that is sometimes not good either. But... there is a difference between keeping to one's self and being judgmental.

I left the gym that day hoping that those men had not seen the judgment in my eyes. I hope no one ever sees it again. It was never my intention to hurt someone, but... judgment hurts no matter what the intent.